Human beings are naturally inclined to connect with others, seek affection, and find fulfillment with a partner who suits them—someone with whom they can share their feelings, hardships, and joys. This is the nature with which God created us, even from the time we were in our mothers" wombs, for love on earth is part of our very nature.
Love has degrees and stages depending on the intensity of the feeling, the depth of the emotion, and the extent to which one is affected by the beloved. The first degree is attachment, which is constant and continuous thought, followed by the stage of infatuation, which means intense longing and anticipation of meeting one’s partner, passing through the stage of adoration, then passion, then infatuation, and ending with obsession—that is, the lover reaching a state of madness in their love for the other person.
Despite this, various feelings—sometimes conflicting with one another—stir within us, for we carry within our hearts emotions whose intensity varies from time to time; they rise and fall like a mercury thermometer, oscillating between strength and weakness, and at other times fading away.
Human souls are naturally inclined to love those who are kind to them; the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, always declared his deep love for Lady Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her, and history has told us of intense loves that reached the point of obsession, such as Qais and Layla, and the Umayyad caliph Yazid ibn Abd al-Malik, who was overflowing with love for his concubine Hababa and would sit at her feet for hours on end. . And in the Qur’an is the story of Joseph, son of Jacob, when Zuleikha, the wife of Al-Aziz, became infatuated with him.
The hadith warns us against recklessly becoming entangled in our relationships with others, saying: »Love your beloved gently, for perhaps one day he will become your enemy; and hate your enemy gently, for perhaps one day he will become your beloved." This does not mean we should not trust our own feelings or those of others, but rather that we should rein them in and keep them in check, so that we do not harm ourselves when times change and subject us to one of their harsh trials.
For love surpasses medicine in healing the sick; the effect of medicine is felt only by the patient, whereas love heals both the one who receives it and the one who gives it.
The greatest and purest forms of love are love for God and love for His law; as for love built on instincts and founded on desires and fleeting pleasures, its lifespan is short.
God, Glorified and Exalted be He, has provided us with lawful love through marriage, and then entrusted us with the task of preserving it, safeguarding it, and protecting it from the storms of time and the vicissitudes of days and years. . This is one of the criteria for success in managing married life.
